Questions to ask college soccer coaches, and the mistakes parents make

Updated 5 November 2026 · 5 min read

Recruiting is a two-way decision. The coach is deciding about your player; your family is deciding about the coach, the team and the college. These are the questions that tell you what you need to know, and the mistakes worth avoiding.

Rules checked for the 2026–27 school year on 5 November 2026, at the NCAA, NAIA and NJCAA's own rulebooks. Rules change: confirm anything important with the college's compliance office.

Questions for the coach

• How do you see my player fitting in? Which position, and how many players are you recruiting there?
• How many freshmen played real minutes last season?
• What does a week look like in season and out of season?
• Do players in my child's intended major manage the schedule? Any labs or classes that clash?
• What academic support is there for the team?
• What aid are you offering, for how long, and on what conditions?
• How long is your contract? Do you expect to be here for my player's four years?
• What happens if my child is injured, or just isn't playing?
• How do you decide who plays? How do you give players feedback?
• When do you need an answer?

Questions for the players

On a visit, ask for time with the players without the coaches. Ask what they'd change, how the coaches treat players who aren't starting, how they balance the soccer and the classes, and whether they'd choose the school again. The honest answers usually come from the players who aren't the stars.

Questions for yourselves

• Would my child be happy at this college if soccer ended tomorrow?
• Will they play, or mostly train? Do they mind?
• Can we afford it, with what's actually offered?
• Whose dream is this: our child's or ours?

The mistakes parents make most

• Waiting to be discovered. Most recruited players got in touch first.
• Only looking at Division I. Most college players play elsewhere, often with more minutes and more aid.
• Doing it for your child. Coaches want to hear from the player. Help with the planning; let them write and talk.
• The same email to a hundred coaches. It shows. Fewer, better emails get answers.
• Only a highlight reel. Coaches judge from full games: have them ready.
• Leaving grades for later. They decide eligibility, admission and a lot of money.
• Paying for promises. No one can guarantee a scholarship.
• Committing to a coach, not a college. Coaches move on. Choose the place.
• Not reading the offer. Know what's promised, in writing, before saying yes.
• The sideline. Coaches notice how parents behave at games, and how players treat teammates and referees.